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Kinder Santa Claus, Snowman, Milka Nut Cracker, Chocolate Teddy Bear Christmas 2015 Edition

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Devotion to the phallus has spawned a number of cultural celebrations across the world, most notably in Peru at Chucuito, and in Japan where there are not one, but two annual penis festivals. Legend has it that the festival was originally held to celebrate the vanquishing of a sharp-fanged female demon, which had a nasty habit of biting off male genitalia. Next come the local dignitaries in gold shawls, a group of musicians playing ancient court music, and then some purple-robed women carrying small wooden models, in you guess what shape.


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On second thoughts — is miming such a good idea here? Fast forward a few more weeks to the first Sunday of April and there is a rather different celebration of love, affection and harmony:

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Several candidates were winding through the revelers and trying to canvas votes on their loudspeakers — perhaps neither the publicity nor the photo opportunities they were looking for. The smaller building of the shrine — the Shinmeisha — contains a large number of natural and man-made objects, almost all of which are shaped like a penis, and are used to worship this female deity. Like a king watching over his subjects, it rises from the centre of the temple as two more stand on guard either side of the entrance.

The Rudest Kids Christmas Drawings Ever

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The area also used to be overrun with brothels in the Edo era, and prostitutes would attend the festival to pray for protection against sexually transmitted diseases. It is used to raise money for HIV research and AIDS charities, and the curious mix in the crowd includes childless couples praying for pregnancy next stop: This one, it seems, is taken more seriously — at least the town priest and officials intend it to be, anyway. Now, however, it has swelled to over double this size and weighs nearly kg.

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